I suck because..

I degrade myself too much. I have low self-esteem sometimes. I always feel that there is someone better than me. Someone prettier, talented, smarter and someone who deserves to be loved. I have very good-looking girl friends. Even in high school. Therefore I feel left behind. Boys often ask for my friends’ number, not mine. It’s not that I want to give my number to them but it feels like I’m being discriminated.

I envy those who don’t study but can still pass the test. Sometimes when people ask me things, I always shrug my shoulders and tell them I don’t know. Then people start responding with “How can you not know that!?”  That’s when I start feeling stupid.

I feel like I’m not a good Christian. I don’t usually pray. I pray when I remember to but I don’t pray before eating meals, before going to sleep and when I wake up. I pray especially when I need something. Also, believe it or not, I haven’t experienced real confession. Sure I had it when I was in the second grade. But I confess about broking my mom’s Buddha image and stealing my brother’s yakult. It seemed that the priest didn’t care at all. I’ve made a lot of sins. And I think that I should pretty much repent.

I’m not skinny. But I used to be one. It feels terrible when I step in an elevator then suddenly it overloads. Or when a person has to adjust his sitting position just to let the two of us fit in a tricycle. Also when fitting in a boutique and nothing fits. I hate being teased. But it sucks even more to accept the fact that I shouldn’t complain because it’s true.

I can’t swim. I mean really. All I do inside a swimming pool is get my body wet. That’s also the reason why I don’t enjoy swimming parties. Every time my friends play in a pool, I’m always the referee or the scorer. I tried lifting both my feet up to float but I really can’t.  Fear is eating me up. But I hope someday, I’ll learn how to swim.

I don't dance. I can sing and act and all those stuff but I can't dance. I mean, everyone can dance. I'm just not good at it. And dancing is really not my thing. I tried it. I sucked. Really.

I’m lazy. Too lazy that sometimes I forget to brush my teeth. Sometimes when it’s really cold the whole day, I don’t even bother to take a shower. Plus my room is a mess. Because I’m too lazy to clean. When I bring drinks inside my room, I leave the glass in my room overnight. I also am a fan of cramming. Like due tomorrow, do today kind of stuff.

I am affectionate with my friends but I’m not with my family. My family is sometimes jealous when it comes to my friends. They often told me that I’m very happy around my friends but I’m grumpy when I’m with them. It’s true because I can be my self around my friends. But I love both my family and my friends. I just don’t show it to my family a lot because I’m shy to do so.

By: Lia Amper